Your friend’s pet just passed away, and she’s devastated. While you know it’s a sad time, you may not be able to grasp the emotional turmoil she’s experiencing if you’ve never owned a pet. “Pet parents are made to feel guilty when their grief is more extreme than it would be for a human being,” says Coleen Ellis, founder of Two Hearts Pet Loss Center. But a recent survey shows that 91% of pet owners think of their companion animals as family. For your friend, that means losing her little one is like losing a spouse, child, sibling or parent. And that’s why you should avoid making these nine hurtful comments.

1. “It was just an animal.”

2. “You can always get another one.”

3. “You knew his life would be short.”